Chapter 8
Too Much Honesty
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“What would you like to see first?” Rowan knelt on the floor trying not to take offense at the casual order in Grim’s tone. Reaching for the CD
wallet, she sorted through the silvery discs quickly, trying to make sure they had come to no damage on the trip.
“What are those, and why do you need them for this device?” Jalhar was interested now that he had something physical to focus on.
“These contain the books, music and references I told you about.” They seemed to accept her explanation because both men sat back with
an overly casual air that told her clearly how very interested they were in the discs. Hopefully, they would be like the ninety-year-old
grandmothers on her world that happily chatted on the net, instead of the technophobe fifty-somethings she had encountered frequently.
Lord knows that about half the professors in her department seemed convinced their computers were alive from the way they talked about
them. It would just be her luck if they decided it was some sort of demon and wanted to burn her for it.
Jalhar looked at Grim and shrugged, obviously letting the other man take the lead. Grim nodded a brief acknowledgment and scowled
down at the CDs. “I would see some of your books, then perhaps these moving pictures you mentioned.”
“As you wish.” She tried to keep her tone light. This guy was way too tense. She flipped to the book section in her CD wallet and selected a
disc from her reference CDs. Somewhere in here was the encyclopedia that had come with the system. She did not use it herself, but had
kept it anyway. The packrat in her had insisted that you never knew when something would come in handy.
She slipped the disc in to the waiting drive with a soft explanation. “This is a general reference book that tells a little bit about most of the
common things or figures in my world.” Her hand went to the key pad and tapped to bring up the screen. Another couple of taps on the keys
and the CD was loaded.
In a spot of whimsy she called up the information on her home town, San Francisco . “This is the city I grew up in.” She moved back so the
men could see clearly. The overhead view was impressive so she clicked on the image to give them a better view. “And this is an
enlargement.”
“So these are the pictures made?” Grim asked, the tightness around his mouth betraying how important the question was to him.
“I will show you.” Since she didn’t know how these people would feel about having their picture taken, the drawings on the wall not
withstanding, she prudently aimed the digital camera toward the fireplace, making sure she had hooked it up properly to download
immediately to the computer screen. “This is a digital camera, or in other words, a camera that is designed to work directly with a
computer.” She noted absently that the words digital and camera did not translate, so she touched each one as she spoke so that they
could understand.
Rowan chewed on her lower lip as she looked at the light in the room. “It will probably flash as it takes the picture since the light in here is
not as bright as daylight, but it will harm nothing.” She looked at Jalhar to see if he would object.
“Please demonstrate.” He appeared to be more reserved, looking as though he were quietly judging everything she said and did, which he
probably was. Heaven knew if she had just taken responsibility for a stranger, she would want to see what she had gotten herself into as
well. She tried not to resent the examination.
“I will take a photo of your hearth,” she announced as she triggered the camera. A moment later a bright flash went through the room. She
kept her back to the men and watched the computer screen, trying to convey to them in the strongest terms that there was nothing to be
concerned about.
Her breath eased out a moment later in a silent sigh of relief as Grim asked her to shoot a picture of a gem he pulled out of his pocket. He
seemed to become disturbingly excited with the results as she demonstrated the zoom properties. A whirl of activity later, everything within
the room had been photographed, including a few pages from an oddly marked little book Grim had in one of his many belt pouches. When
all the pictures came up on the screen one after the other, the men became quiet, their faces revealing nothing.
Grim settled back in his chair staring fixedly at the wall, obviously lost in deep contemplation. Jalhar eased down beside her on the floor so
close that their bodies touched from hip to knee. He did not seem to notice as he focused on the tiny images on the screen, calling up her
collection of pictures one by one. Unfortunately, she could not claim to be equally absorbed. She was acutely aware of the long, hard press
of his muscles against her leg.
Jalhar returned repeatedly to the photos of the Pacific Northwest as well as some of the old forts she had saved pictures of for Brian. From
there they moved through the programs one by one. She was giving a quick overview of her favorite mathematical analysis program when
Grim shifted suddenly. He leaned forward and scanned the equation with a sharp gaze and glanced back at her with a secretive smile
playing across her lips. His finger skimmed the air above the screen with confident speed before he nodded sharply with approval.
“Are you sure you would not like to stay here? I have a feeling we could be great friends.” There was something in the way the words curled
through the air that triggered her uneasiness. It was almost as if they had a power of their own, as if they were urging her to give in to his
suggestion.
Jalhar uncoiled from his crouch on the floor in a swift and deadly blur of speed. “I have given my word that she is protected here, Grim.” The
menace that darkened the air around him dispelled the lingering effects of Grim’s suggestion.
Casting an uncertain look at the tense way the two men were staring at each other, Rowan instinctively tried to ease the tension. “ Although
your offer is very kind. I need to go home as soon as possible. Brian will be frantic with worry and I have to defend my thesis so that I can
officially finish my education and go on with my life.” Rowan tried to ignore the small voice inside that asked her what life. Shaking her head
at her own internal argument, she tried to inject as much reason as she could into her voice. “If you have a use for this program, I would be
glad to show you how to use it and allow you on the computer after I have backed up my files again. I could even leave it here if you find my
way home. I only need my disks really.”
The harsh lines of Jalhar’s features did not ease as Grim glanced down at her, an eyebrow raised. He studied her face as if he could not
quite credit his ears or the sincerity of her offer. At last he nodded and swept her a swift bow. “That would be quite kind and would be of
great assistance to me.” He nodded to the screen which was filled with one of the many equations she had labored over. “That equation is
quite complicated, work that would have taken one of my students many days. If the device helps you work through such things quickly, it
could save me weeks of work and help us greatly with many projects.”
The ease at which he followed the detailed equation told her much of his experience in higher mathematics. It was not one for dabblers.
She wondered what he would say if she told him that computers were made possible by some innovative work done on imaginary
numbers. She groaned as she imagined that long and arduous explanation. It had been a few years since she had dealt with such high
math herself. She usually went to the math department with a suitable bribe of beer and pizza to get the most difficult of her work done. No,
she was going to keep very quiet on that subject and hope it never came up.
“How about I show you one of the movies I talked about?” Rowan suggested in an effort to lighten the mood. She was sure it was an evil
impulse that moved her to pop in the first Lord of the Rings DVD, showing them the movie trailer of the ring spinning in mid air while the
famous lines were read from the book by the narrator. Both Grim and Jalhar came to point so quickly as she translated, she had to stifle a
mischievous laugh. The humor died when Jalhar turned to Grim with a foreboding look.
“Don’t even think about it,” he stated flatly, the lines of his face harsh.
Grim widened his eyes in false innocence at Jalhar. “I wouldn’t do anything like that!” Bemused outrage dripped from every pore.
“It is just a story.” She heard herself object, her voice oddly distant. “Really. Just a movie. I even have all the books and discs. I can show
you - fiction only!”
Grim quirked a smile that did not reassure her in the least. “Do you have many of these movies?” Grim looked pointedly at her carry case,
steadfastly ignoring the suspicious glare Jalhar was still giving him.
“Only a few of my favorites.” She shrugged. “There are some you really just never get tired of viewing.”
“Perhaps you would show us this one?” Grim gestured at the ring now frozen in the middle of the screen.
“It’s a long tale,” she cautioned as she looked to Jalhar for his opinion. He just shrugged though the tension never quite left his shoulders.
When the first move was finally over, Rowan was beyond hoarse from translating. A light meal was brought in and while it was being set up
she retreated to her room to attend some necessities. It gave her time to think of what she had seen. The reactions of the men to the movie
were fascinating. The fight between the wizards had Grim collapsing in a fit of laughter while the destruction of the trees had Jalhar cursing
so fluently, she had been obliged to pause the movie to explain the special effects.
The clock on the computer told her that it was nearly nine in the evening when she came back into the room and she was obliged to switch
out batteries. Rowan had no idea what time it was on this world, but she was exhausted enough for it to be right. A curl of disgust moved
through her. She had been on an alien world for a full day and hadn’t even made it out of a suite of rooms.
“This is just a bard’s tale in your world?” Grim was staring into space and tapping his lips thoughtfully. Jalhar still looked ready to kill
something.
“Well, actually, it was a college professor’s tale.” Well that did not translate. “Er, a sage’s tale.” That one worked. She could tell her
vocabulary was going to get a workout here. “He wrote the tale as a modern myth, but based it on a lot of the old archetypes.” Thank the
heavens that word translated.
“I see.” Grim was looking even more thoughtful. “He based this on some of your people’s legends?”
She nodded. “Some of our oldest legends cover elves, dwarves, fairies, dragons and the like. They appear in just about every culture I can
think of.” She looked meaningfully at her empty water glass, trying to tell him subtly just how sore her throat had become. He didn’t take the
hint.
“Do you have these other tales on disc as well?” Jalhar’s tongue stumbled over the unfamiliar word.
She shook her head, “Not many of them.” For once she was grateful for her limited budget. At least she would not have to translate dozens
of tales. He sighed and shook his head. “A shame that.”
A spirited discussion sprung up between the two men on the merits of the various points of the tale that she did not even try to follow. Her
mind was just floating with exhausted overload. She was too tired to show surprise as other people started coming into the room, nodding
to Jalhar in greeting as they entered.
To her shock, Grim knelt on the floor and quickly went through a demonstration of her computer. His actions were a flawless repetition of
everything she had done in the early afternoon, even when she thought he had been staring at the wall. Her estimation of his abilities went
up astronomically. He caught her staring at him when he had paused the movie to allow room for the discussion that raged around,
smiling at her open jawed amazement. She would have sworn there was a small blush on his face as he took in her awed expression.
“I usually only need to be shown something once to remember it.” A chill went through her as she realized that he had spoken to her in
English.
“That’s amazing,” she whispered, more than a little awed. “How can you do that?” The slight bronze blush grew on his cheeks as Jalhar
broke in, touching her arm lightly to draw her attention.
“Grim is brilliant, though he would be quick to deny it.” He gave a slight smile to his obviously discomfited friend. Whatever Grim was, he
was not used to praise.
“I just remember things precisely and sort out their order,” he demurred quietly.
She shook her head in disbelief. There had to be more to it than that. She could have repeated the actions on the computer, she usually
picked up procedures the first time they were demonstrated, but the sudden mastering of English from watching a movie once was
amazing. She had never heard of anyone doing anything like that. Her suspicions grew as she noted the hidden amusement in Grim’s
eyes.
“Are you sure that’s all there is to it?” she asked softly, letting him see her skepticism. She had known many brilliant people in her day, but
no one was that good. This was one time she was more than willing to believe there was some sort of magic involved.
“Why?” Jalhar seemed fascinated by the small frown that was playing on her face. She tried not to flush under his close regard. She met
his eyes boldly.
“Because no one is that good, no matter what he says.” She raised her chin in challenge as she slanted her gaze to the other man.
“Alright,” Grim laughed as he held up his hands in surrender. “There is something else, I confess.”
She leveled her best ‘I knew you were cheating’ stare at him. It worked with undergraduates, she had little hope that it would work with him
though. He just laughed harder.
“Jalhar, I think you are right. She must be returned to her home as soon as possible lest she ruin my reputation completely.” Jalhar just
snorted in reply, disbelief written all over his face.
“Although I generally avoid anything of the kind, I will let you in on my little secret.” Grim reached out and used one long finger to caress the
ring on her finger, his expression rueful. “I made this ring as a tool to learn languages. Just as you can understand what we say because of
the ring, I can understand words that are said in your primary language. The ring, in effect, links our abilities to understand languages, but
only common words with direct analogies are translated. No vague concepts are shared, just vocabulary and syntax.”
“Oh.” It was almost as disturbing as his being able to figure out the words from one exposure, or to remember three hours of dialogue. It
felt kind of creepy to know he was somehow linked with her mind, no matter how limited that contact was. Of course he had remembered
how to operate the DVD with one exposure. She wondered what the people back home would have thought of that. Her mother still had not
figured out how to use a VCR.
She shook her head. Her mother had not figured out how to be a mother either so she guessed that was a bad comparison. Magic. There
was really magic on this world. Where did that leave her? Brian would have been just fine, he was always into that mystic stuff, but she
preferred her world safe—reasonable and solid. She glanced at Jalhar, trying to study him unobtrusively. A man like this could make her
believe in magic though. A glow seemed to cling to his skin, a magic that had everything to do with the electric vitality that seemed to
surround him.
She shuddered as he glanced at her and gave a slow, wicked smile. Small explosions were set off just behind her eyes at the impact of
that sultry invitation to laugh with him. Desperately she looked around the room, trying to see what had amused him. Anything was safer
than looking into those midnight eyes.
There was a man there that looked as if a block of sobriety had been embodied in a single form. She thought his name was Grimaryl. He
was tall—even taller than Jalhar—and massively built. Even more impressive was the air of unconscious danger about him, the subtle
scent of controlled violence, which lent to his majesty. The very air around him seemed to boil with disciplined determination, but there was
no light to his eyes. His arctic gaze was as empty as any she had ever seen. It was as if his very heart were missing, or perhaps his soul.
He nodded slowly when he saw her watching him, a granite acknowledgment of her existence. She was uncomfortable knowing that man
knew anything about her.
Oddly enough, the rest of the assembled people were studiously ignoring her. It seemed an almost unconscious gesture; as if she were
invisible by tacit agreement. In a way she was grateful for the respite after the long afternoon of explanations. The lull gave her a chance to
study the people surrounding her without worrying what they would think.
There was a rough-hewn older man that was friendly, almost fatherly with Jalhar, though she would have been willing to swear they were
no relation. Everything about them failed to match, except for the comfortable air of acceptance that both men seemed to project. When he
caught her staring at him, he had even flashed her a quick smile. She thought his name was Rahne. Even though Rahne looked like he
might be entering the latter part of his fifth decade, she had seen people on the covers of body building magazines with less muscular
definition.
The feelings of vast strength and competence or violence were not limited to Rahne and Grimaryl, they radiated from everyone in the room.
One man she had yet to be introduced to moved like a cat, all rippling control, as if everything was one graceful motion. He was dressed in
plain, soft gray leathers, somewhat worn from use. The vest was bare of ornamentation and displayed his whipcord arms, their many scars
an open testament to his life. She had purposely avoided the cold stone of his gaze, not wanting to even glimpse the darkness she knew
dwelled there. It was written plainly in the way he stayed to the edges of the room and avoided the touch of all.
There was a woman that stood silently next to Grimaryl that practically oozed an air of lethal menace. Although the thought seemed
ridiculous, the tiny, delicately boned creature appeared to be a bodyguard. She felt the woman’s gaze on her often and was disturbed by the
faint unease it engendered. It felt for all the world as if the woman was constantly deciding the best way to kill her.
If it weren’t for the menacing air, Rowan would have wanted to talk with the woman. She wore what almost appeared to be a traditional
katana and wakasashi that were so beautiful and balanced they would not have been out of place in a museum display of ancient
weaponry. More intriguing, the hilts showed the marks of long use and meticulous care. The woman had delicate, not-quite Asian features,
but there was something about them that just did not fit. The shape of the bones were wrong for anyone, and the pale almost translucent
skin held no hint of the rich smooth gold she had come to love.
It was not until the guard turned her head to answer a low comment from Grimaryl that she saw the most startling of the woman’s
features—her ears. They rose in a delicate peak from the long, softly bound black hair. When Rowan looked at the guard’s eyes once more,
she realized that they were not the gently tilted eyes like she saw in Brian’s face, but something entirely alien to everything she knew. The
color was a smooth impossible green with rings of gold that shaded to yellow. The eyes were little too large and held a hint of a cat’s
impassive gaze.
She felt the impact of their touch from across the room. Grimaryl’s eyes may have been empty, but they were still human. These eyes were
anything but human; looking into those eyes brought it home exactly how lost she was. Looking into their fathomless gaze was like trying to
read a book written only of sorrow.
The challenge that crept into that alien gaze reminded Rowan she was staring. Remembering her manners far too late, she settled for
dropping her gaze and hoped that no one would see her blush. Things were definitely different here, too different to think upon too intensely
lest she lose her mind.
Everyone in the room was almost as remarkable as the elfin woman. There was a dark man with quick, almost impossible to follow
gestures that Grim kept a strong, if friendly eye on. She thought he had been called Dagger, but she hoped her translation was wrong. The
name was just far too suggestive. His eyes were filled of secret mirth, but even she could see it was the laughter you learned when your
options were either to laugh or scream.
Another woman in the room that drew her attention was named Jasmine. She was of average size and a slight, shapely build. Her hair
tumbled down her back in gentle golden waves and her eyes were of a perfect dove gray. She was the most normal seeming of all the
people in the room if looking like a movie star was normal. There was nothing dark or haunted about her clear eyes and no unspoken
menace in her motions. She seemed one of those people who was never less than graceful, whose hair was never less than perfect and
whose voice was always honeyed cream. In other words, Rowan knew that if Jasmine had not struck her immediately as an incredibly
sweet person, she would have near hated her on sight.
Other people cycled through in a blur. There was a man in the same kind of dark leather clothing that Jalhar had been wearing when she
first spotted him, the two enormous swords at his belt kept her from noticing much about his facial features. Another man came to examine
her lab materials. The only thing she noted about him was that he seemed incredibly compact and powerful for a man that handled lab
instruments with such delicate care. Another came in after the first flood of people had entered the room; that caught her attention with his
complete blandness. He was only a little more than her height and was so nondescript she wondered if it was intentional. He looked
closely at her lab supplies and also examined her clothing at great length, but she was just too worn to object to the examination of her
private things.
Let the people look if it meant that they wouldn’t burn her for being a witch. Jalhar gave her more than one concerned look as he guided the
examination away from what she had identified as her under things, but she just shook her head. The weight of the days events were
catching up with her. She just wanted to be left alone to think. Jalhar seemed to sense her need because he settled more deeply into the
chair beside her in a quiet offering of companionable strength.
Everyone took the time to glance through her chemical catalogue, though Grim could barely be persuaded to relinquish it for a moment.
Much later in the evening, servants came into the quarters with plates piled high with food. Though she would have rather just gone to bed
at that point, probably to cry, Jalhar guided her to the sideboard with a firm touch. She knew without asking that he would demand that she
eat. Rowan sighed and shook her head; he was certainly taking his role of protector a bit too seriously.
She moved along the table, selecting only the dishes that most appealed to her apathetic stomach and once more avoided all the meats.
She tried to ignore Jalhar’s worried scrutiny, she’d enough of being examined this past afternoon. Rowan started back to the couch when
his warm hand caught at her elbow and forced her to stop.
“Why do you avoid meat?” Jalhar’s voice was gentle, as if he was concerned about injuring her feelings.
She just shrugged. She noticed that his plate had a marked absence of meat as well. “I don’t eat it much. I don’t eat red meat at all, but I do
like fish or chicken upon occasion.”
“Why?” His face held a shadow that she did not understand, his eyes full of a pain that she had only glimpsed before.
She opened her mouth, but had a hard time finding her voice when faced with those terrible, haunted eyes. He just waited patiently, a soft
caress feathering against her arm where he restrained her in a gentle grasp. She shrugged again and tried to find her voice. “It’s just safer
I guess.” It sounded both lame and contrived.
“Ah, that is probably a wise course.” His light tone and suddenly shuttered expression told her that he did not believe her excuse. He
gestured back to the table, drawing her attention to a corner platter piled high with various offerings that she had missed before. Her mouth
watered at the inviting selection of nuts and cheeses.
“I, too, do not eat meat often and then only fish.” His voice, if anything, was even more guarded than before. She found herself asking the
question before she could think better of it.
“Is it a religious choice for you or a personal one?” Maybe it was part of his religion since he was some sort of priest. The shadows on his
face made her think it was something else.
His face became expressionless as he placed several delicate cheeses on her plate. “Personal—my faith has no problem with meat
consumption. I, on the other hand, cannot touch it.” His tone was tinged with a hollowness that warned her away from any further questions;
though she had the feeling he would answer if she asked. It was an honesty she was not ready to deal with. All of these people seemed
haunted in one way or another. She changed the subject, desperate to lighten the darkness shadowing his face.
“In the culture of my foster family, it was considered uncouth to eat red meat and some people in my world think it is unethical to eat
anything that was once living.” She shrugged. “My mother and father were typical of our more northern cultures in that if it was meat, it was
good. Master Yu, the man who really raised me, did not agree with that belief and fed me accordingly. I find that red meat is strange upon
my tongue and unpleasant in my belly, so I avoid it.”
He frowned and guided her to a small set of chairs on the far side of the room, well away from most of the crowd, but said nothing until she
was settled. He then went back to the table and returned with a tray loaded with his own plate and several drinks. “Try these, the juices are
quite refreshing and I imagine that your throat is a bit raw after this afternoon.” He motioned to the bright colored liquids held in the thick
goblets. She held no doubts that he was not making a suggestion. Jalhar was a man used to issuing orders.
She brought a dark red liquid to her lips and sampled carefully. Her brow quirked as the sweet, light juice’s rich flavor exploded into her
mouth and soothed the back of her throat. A soft purr of appreciative pleasure escaped her throat before she could censor it. This was
exactly what she needed. She found another glass waiting on the tray by the time she finished the first. She looked up at Jalhar in surprise;
it had not been there before. He must have placed it there while she was drinking. A slow smile spread across his lips.
“It looked like you could use more.” Her heart quivered strangely in her chest as he reached out and gently wiped the corner of her mouth
with an almost tender motion. Her breath stilled as he examined the ruby drop sparkling on his scarred knuckle. He brought the droplet to
his mouth and sucked delicately, his eyes boring into her. His tongue flicked out as he finished and traced along his slowly spreading,
wicked smile. “You were right, the juice is delicious.” The husky purr of his voice made her burn under his eyes touch.
She flushed and glanced away, trying to calm the sudden raging of her blood. She had never, ever, had the attention of such a man before.
Hell, any man, at least the way she defined them, after looking in Jalhar’s dark eyes. Maybe that was why she had never responded before,
but now she ached under just the weight of his gaze. It made her wonder what it would be like to be really touched by such a man. There
was the faintest of touches upon her hair.
“I am sorry. I should have known you are not one to take such things lightly.” he trailed off, regret heavy in his voice. She managed not to
flinch as he settled in the chair beside her and reached calmly for his plate, all heat gone from his gaze. “I will not trouble you again in such
a way. My protection is not based upon the nature of our relationship.”
She looked up sharply, alerted by the hesitation in his tone. “I would have never thought it would be. You are a man, not a jackal.” Her voice
was hard and firm. Somehow she knew that of him, deep in her bones. Even though she had spent only a few hours with him, she knew
she had found one whose honor matched his strength.
He looked up, clearly startled by the strength of her conviction. His eyes darkened with emotion. “Thank you for that.” A small self-mocking
grin split his features. “Though I will not pretend that I —” he broke off and looked away. She could see he was attempting to master
himself. “Perhaps it would be best if we spoke of other things.” His voice was thoughtful as he met her gaze with rending honesty. “For I
have seldom been tempted by a woman as I am by you.”
She let a shuddering breath out and hoped her cheeks were not as dark red as they felt. Rowan desperately cast around for another
subject to think upon, because just the thought of his interest was very dangerous indeed. Maybe it would be best if she left the subject to
him. “Surely there has to be something you are still wondering about that I can answer.” Even answering more questions would be better
than dwelling on the fire that was growing between them with every breath.
He gave her a small wicked grin, acknowledging her salvo, then his smile faded and his eyes became haunted, thoughtful. “Yes.” His voice
was dark, almost muted. “There are some things that I do not yet understand.”
There was a cautious hesitation about him that seemed alien to his nature. A faint worry grew in her mind. Perhaps it would be better to
think of other things, but it was too late, his question was already leaving his lips. “I still do not understand why you were not raised by your
parents?” Confusion dripped through his voice, Rowan knew without question that he could never conceive of such a thing. She looked
down upon her hands clenched in her lap. At least he had accomplished one thing with his question; any thought of her parents always
brought ice to her veins.
He took her silence to mean pain because his warm hands came to cover cold hands, warming them with his comfort. “I am sorry. I should
not have asked that. All of us here have memories that are too painful to share.” Her head jerked up at the muted pain in his voice and it
came sharply to her mind that it had been his cries that she had heard in the morning. The ache was there in his eyes, bare for all to see.
This man knew more about sorrow than a man was ever meant to bear.
She turned her hand slightly, lacing their fingers together. “It isn’t that—not really anyway.” The sharpness of the pain had faded long ago,
now all that was left was an empty ache where love should have been. “It is just hard to explain about John and Dottie, my parents.”
He waited silently for her reply. His warm grasp offered silent comfort as she tried to form words he would understand. At last she was able
to offer a small explanation in a low voice. “I guess it would be safe to say that they weren’t meant to be parents, at least my parents.”
“How could this be so? Are families so unimportant on your world?” She was relieved to hear his voice no longer held the pain of haunted
memories, only puzzlement. It gave her the strength to speak further and ignore the swirl of the others around them.
“Families are still very important on my world, perhaps even the most important thing of all, but family, or at least unwanted family, is not
important to my parents.” She bit her lip, briefly remembering how many years it had taken her to come to peace with her parent’s failings.
There were times Rowan was unsure if she had truly found that peace yet. His fingers tightened in her hand, silently urging her to continue.
She swallowed quickly against the thickness building in her throat. She had never spoken of such things with anyone, even Brian and
Mother Yu. Somehow she could tell Jalhar though, maybe it was his pledge or perhaps it was the ache in his eyes. Whatever the cause,
she could tell him. She glanced down at their joined hands drawing the strength to speak.
“My father and my mother married each other quickly and without any forethought. Each is very self-absorbed and has a strong sense of
what they want out of life.” Sometimes she could almost understand them, which frightened her more than anything else. It was her
greatest fear to turn into something like either one of them. There were times that she wondered if she already had.
Rowan shook her head, “What my parents did not want was to be tied to a person that did not put them first and foremost in everything. It
boggles the mind when you think of it, each of them wanted to be the center of the universe. It used to make me wonder how they could
stand being in the same room.” A laugh bubbled up. “The only thing I could come up with was that they had really great sex.”
Jalhar choked briefly, and struggled with controlling is laughter. His difficulty drew some curious stares from the rest of the people gathered
as if his laughter was not a common thing. Only the vaguely startled look in his eyes gave away his own shock at the occurrence. Maybe sex
was not a common subject for these people. Oh well.
She gave him an apologetic grin as she forged on. “Whatever the reason of why they got together, it was not strong enough to hold them
together. Just as they decided that they could no longer stand the sight of each other, my mother discovered she was pregnant.” She felt the
frown growing on her face and could not stop it. It matched the ice growing in her soul with the memories. “It was not a happy time. I think
they grew to hate me before I was even born.”
A sharp curse rent the air, though his hands remained gentle in hers. A few of the other people in the room glanced up as his face
darkened in fury. “My parents did not have so much, but they welcomed each and every one of us with joy.” His breath stopped in his chest
as if his words were a shock even to his own ears. “Even little Marcus, who was not so perfect.”
Her hands tightened around his, seeking to give the comfort that he had so recently offered. She did not have to be told that his family was
dead. The pain was graven on his face. “Your family had everything.” She kept her voice soft. “It sounds like they had love.” He swallowed
and nodded, obviously beyond speech.
She decided to continue her explanation, hoping to distract him. “They decided to stay together a little longer. My father did not want to face
paying for my upbringing in a separate household and my mother did not want to be stigmatized as a single mother.” She shivered,
remembering the cold anger that still occasionally flashed in her mother’s eyes. She dared not ask herself if it was really hatred, even after
all these years.
Rowan glanced at Jalhar; he was listening, the pain fading from his eyes as his confusion grew. The ache growing in her chest was worth
it then, at least it was banishing his pain. “By the end of the pregnancy they knew that they could not stay together, no matter what the cost to
their ambitions. I was given to the mother of my father as soon as I was born and my parents separated within moments of my birth. My
father had only waited so long in order to give me his name. You see, no matter what, I was his. He wanted his ownership marked clearly.”
She reflected upon the cost of that ownership. It would have been so much easier if he had not cared about anything, but he had always
cared about his name. When Jalhar’s fingers flexed in silent support, she sighed. A lot of things would have been easier. “Both John and
Dottie had their own ambitions, careers and plans. None of them included an unwanted child from an unsuccessful marriage. It was bad
for their images.” She could not keep the bitterness out of her voice now, but it did not seem to matter to Jalhar. He just sat there, quietly
listening like no one ever had before. It helped more than she had ever dreamed possible.
“They came to see me every so often, but I was left with the impression that they only did so to see if there was anything in me worth their
trouble. I doubt they ever saw much that pleased them.” Jalhar’s mouth was thinning quickly into a sharp line of anger and the grasp of his
hand laced almost painfully through her fingers. She gave him a crooked smile.
“Don’t worry, my grandmother was a good woman and the only true mother I knew.” Even if she was distant and ill most of the time. She left
those words unspoken and sighed. “Eventually, Grandmother became too ill to care for me, so they put her in a nursing home when I was
five. John and Dottie traded off the chore of caring for me on a rotation worked out by their lawyers. For a short time they had a nanny come
in, but that was too much trouble. They eventually decided it would be cheaper and look better to just enroll me in various programs for
children.” She shrugged. “My father’s career was growing quickly by that time and he had come into his inheritance. He assigned one of his
drivers to take me to my classes. I went from the time I woke in the morning until I fell asleep in the car at night.”
The term ‘car’ did not translate, but it did not seem to matter. “I learned dance, painting, art, mathematics and finally the martial arts. I did
my best to learn everything quickly, but the martial arts I learned the fastest and the best.” She smiled at the distant memory of Master Yu’s
quiet approval. His slightest nod had been worth all the effort. It had felt like coming home.
“Master Yu apparently named such a low price for training me that my parents immediately agreed. They were thrilled I could finally be out
of their lives. They didn’t have to pretend to care.” She looked down at their joined hands, remembering her early fears. “But my father is a
businessman. I knew that if he didn’t think he was getting a bargain, he would not let me stay. He would have rather faced me and all the
bother I created rather than be taken on a business deal. When Brian found out why I was so afraid and practiced all the time, he spent
hours teaching me even though I was stealing time with his mother and father.”
Jalhar’s thumb feathered a caress across the sensitive inner skin of her wrist, forcing her mind from the past. She looked in awe at the tiny
motion of his hand. How could such a small motion set such fire in her blood? Her breasts burned and her breath grew short as the soft
stroking continued. A soft chuckle drew her gaze upward. The wicked sparkle in Jalhar’s eyes showed he knew the effect he was having
upon her, but his voice was bland as he spoke. “I think I would like your brother very much.”
She swallowed and nodded, trying to force her mind back to the subject instead of the maddening dance of his flesh against hers. Her
voice sounded somewhat strangled as she spoke again. “With Brian and Master Yu’s guidance, I became very good. Good enough to
justify my instruction fees—at least to my father’s satisfaction. I had to fight every day to try and be perfect.” Her mouth twisted on the bitter
truth of her words. “Anyway, my parents eventually remarried and had other children. They had less and less interest for their
‘embarrassing mistake’.”
The glass of wine was collected by a quiet servant and a small dish with a custard-like dessert was put in its place. She left it untouched. “I
think my mother has moved to another state, because I have not seen her in years. She still sends a check to my school every fall even
though I have been paying my own way for years.”
She smiled humorlessly and shook her head. “My father even asked me over to dinner before I left on my trip. He was trying to figure out if I
would be of use to him. Before you ask, the answer is no. He is not likely to ask me over again.” She frowned, seeing the surprising photos
on the mantle once more. “I am told I have two brothers and a sister from my father, but I have only seen their pictures.”
She looked down at the floor, wondering if her father would ever tell them of her. “At least mother has let me write her other daughter. Lily
never wrote back though.” She glanced up as she felt the absolute stillness of the fingers that had returned to her wrist. Jalhar looked ready
to kill something.
She looked back at her plate nervously and reached for the creamy dessert. She ate mechanically, not really tasting anything as she felt the
anger pouring from the man in waves. Maybe he was angry at her parents, maybe not. She had never seen anyone react that way before. It
made her feel as if she had to fill the silence.
“Master Yu is long dead now, but Brian and I are still close. The rest of his family does not acknowledge him, so we have each other.” She
chewed on her lip. She had always wondered if some of the rift with his family was her fault. She remembered raised voices after her first
tournament. Master Yu’s family had not come by after that. Later, she became aware that there were things that she and Brian were taught
that no one else was shown. Brian had never spoken of it and she knew he never would.
“It is not as bad as it sounds. Brian is just fantastic, but he does not want to teach blundering kids, that was his father‘s dream. The
medical bills from his father’s illness have to be paid off first, so he stopped going to school.”
“Your home is so different.” Jalhar said at last after a long period of silence, his voice thoughtful. “I can not understand or even imagine how
parents such as yours exist.” He blinked and shuddered, obviously struggling not to say more.
She frowned. She had not told him to make him feel bad. If anything, she had hoped that he would feel less guilty about taking her from her
family. His ring flared as she floundered, trying to decide how to handle his disturbance. A moment later the tiny warrior-woman
approached and held out a hand, palm up in greeting.
“I am Teleri.” The large ring flashed on the woman’s finger with its own light, an exact replica of the other two she had seen. A quick glance
about the room confirmed everyone but the servants wore the distinctive decoration.
Teleri’s accent was very strong, even with the aid of the ring Grim had given her, making her wonder at the tiny woman’s origin. She nodded
politely, unsure if she should rise. “Pleased to meet you. My name is Rowan.” She made a bet with herself in the silence that ‘Lady’ was
probably the least of Teleri’s titles. She knew power when she saw it and this woman reeked of it.
Instinctive courtesy kept her from meeting Teleri’s eyes. If she was bound to the same traditions as the swords she wore, it could be
considered a discourtesy to boldly meet her eyes, possibly even a challenge. Rowan had enough troubles already without seeking more.
Brian had drilled proper behavior and protocol into her when she was nine in preparation for grandmother Yu’s one visit to her outcast son.
The old woman had been a terror of disapproval, but had still unbent enough to teach Rowan the old ways.
“Why do you not meet my eyes?” Teleri seemed intrigued and if Rowan was not mistaken, more than a little concerned.
She shrugged. It seemed that no matter what she did, she was wrong. “There is a culture on my world that also had noble warriors who
once carried swords such as yours. Among them it is impolite to stare at another’s eyes.”
“So you base your behavior on the people of your world. You were not afraid to meet my gaze because I hold fey blood, but because you
were being courteous.” There was enough doubt in the tone that Rowan was sure Teleri was pushing for a reaction. Ah hell, she thought
as her reserve slipped so much for being polite. She raised her gaze and stared into deep, velvet green pools.
“No, Lady Teleri, I am not afraid of you,” she stated with quiet firmness. “I have Jalhar’s surety of my safety and you carry one of the rings
that seem to mark you as one of his friends.” She let her gaze travel down the woman, hiding nothing of the evaluation in her gaze. “If it
comes down to it, I do not have to rely on Jalhar’s pledge.” She gestured with a careless hand to Teleri’s swords. “You have come too close
to draw your weapons effectively in time to properly attack me.”
She shrugged at Teleri’s raised brow, seeing the question clearly in her eyes. “I have worked with the katana some and although it is not
my preferred weapon, I do appreciate what can be done with it. If I felt threatened, you would never have a chance to draw your weapon.”
She quirked a smile at Teleri in order to take the sting out of her next words. “I can tell by the way you move that you were not formally
trained in open hand styles of fighting. You do not carry yourself in such a way as to be the most balanced in your steps, nor do you place
yourself lightly enough, though your inherent grace is phenomenal.”
A small smile tugged at Teleri’s mouth and like the dawn over the ocean, the effect was breathtaking. Rowan drew a sharp breath of shock,
she had never seen a more beautiful woman, then she blinked and only a normal woman was standing before her once more. Her brow
puckered in confusion, it could not have been an illusion.
Teleri’s strong voice broke into her thoughts. “Does anyone here move in a way that would concern you then?” The hint of humor in the
woman’s voice kept Rowan from being too worried. She answered honestly, curious to see what their reaction to her evaluation would be.
“Grim is deadly, though he tries to hide it behind a troublemaker’s mask. The one I have heard called Dagger and the painfully nondescript
fellow that has been staying on the edges of the room all evening also move too smoothly to be safe.” She saw something move in Teleri’s
eyes that could have been surprise, but she did not know the woman well enough to be sure. She shrugged mentally and continued her
evaluation of people in the room.
“Rahne moves like a stalking wolf and seems twice as deadly. All of those men seem to have experience with barehanded fighting
because of the way they place themselves in the room and what they surround themselves with. For me personally, only Grim and maybe
the other two would be troublesome in a fight.” She gave a small shrug. “Of course I could be overestimating my own ability.”
“You are very sure of yourself,” Teleri stated before pausing to think for a minute. “I was going to ask you to come to the training circles
tomorrow, so I could evaluate your skills and give you the fundamentals of self defense, but I do not think that will be required now.” Humor
lit the alien eyes for a moment. “Since you are not quite the wallflower I assumed when I came over to speak with you, I will ask that you
consider coming anyway. It is possible that we will have something to teach each other.”
The incredible alien eyes watched her without blinking as Rowan thought through the invitation. Teleri was one of Jalhar’s companions so
probably didn’t have any cruel or hidden motives. It was worth a shot. “It would be my honor to share what I know, and would be grateful for
the space to do the proper forms.”
Teleri smiled, giving her a glimpse of the stunning beauty once more. “Then I shall see you tomorrow after you have broken your fast.” Her
head cocked to one side. “I am curious though, why did you not include Jalhar in your assessments?”
“Because he is not a threat to me. Beyond all else, I would say he was a man of his word.” Rowan felt Jalhar stiffen slightly behind her. The
glow from his ring was bright enough to cast a lurid glow at her feet.
“How then would you assess Jalhar‘s fighting ability?” Teleri’s voice seemed to compel her to speak; it was if the words were endlessly
repeating in her mind. Rowan felt her tongue answer before it had checked with her brain.
“I have not seen him move enough to be completely sure, but I would place him slightly above Rahne. He is a hunter of hunters, a predator,
but he has at least one weakness. I believe he will leave himself open to attacks due to his confidence or perhaps lack of concern about
the outcome.”
“What do you mean by that?” Jalhar’s voice chimed in roughly from behind her, his tone harsh and angry.
“Not what you think.” Rowan turned to look at him, meeting him defiantly in the eye. “Quite honestly, when you placed yourself in front of me
against the Unclean, there was enough information in your eyes to tell the tale. Though you did not willingly choose death, a part of you was
relieved and welcomed it.”
Her throat thickened as she felt the truth of her own words all the way down to her soul. This was one of the truths she had been hiding
from herself. She had not wanted to know that about him, but the signs were too clear. It seemed she was not safe no matter where she
went. She did not even try to hide her frown. Teleri’s breath hissed out in a quiet curse. Jalhar looked stunned by her evaluation, but she
saw no denial on his face—more the pity.
A desperation she did not want to question too closely made her speak further. She could not bear the thought of him dying. The memory of
his arms wrapped around her shoulders in warm comfort was too fresh, his kindness too rare to waste. “Whatever drives you will leave you
open to blows you normally would block, you won’t even see them coming. You will eventually die because you are not committed to living,
just winning and I think a part of you would even welcome the cost.” Rowan finally dared to look at him, Jalhar was silent, denying nothing.
“Why are you so sure of this?” Teleri’s voice resounded in the suddenly quiet room.
“Because I have seen it before, I know what that look in his eyes means.” She closed her own eyes trying to suppress her last memory of
Master Yu. She couldn’t live through that again. She couldn’t bear it.
“Today has been tiring for Lady Rowan.” Grim’s voice cut smoothly into the awkward silence that echoed painfully in the room. He moved
through the crowded room of people like the cat she thought him. Within moments he was standing beside her. He sketched a quick bow.
“Would you allow me to escort you to your room?”
Rowan looked at Grim, trying to understand the placid expression on his face. She turned the possibilities in her mind, already knowing
she would say yes. He was either giving her the chance to escape the awkward situation or he was asking her to give them some privacy.
She was betting on the latter. Putting on her best ‘polite society’ smile, she offered Grim her arm.
“If you all will please excuse me.” She deliberately used her mother’s husky, silken tones, knowing that it would cause them to reevaluate
again. She inclined her head in a brief bow. “I find I am quite tired and must retire.” A small spurt of anger moved through her and she was
just too wrung out to care where it came from. Just to be difficult, she made sure to meet the gaze of those that had tried the hardest to be
unnoticed. “Good night.”
As Grim showed her out of the room, the heavy silence continued. They were all probably scrambling to decide exactly who and what she
was. Well good, she thought, even as she knew it was a foolish petulance. It was nice to know she was not the only one scrambling to
figure out what was going on. They had plucked her from her world and put her here. They could just cope with what they had brought.
She sighed and thought lovingly of the steaming baths waiting in the other room, maybe if she spent an hour soaking her head, her temper
would improve and the new-born fear for Jalhar would fade to silence.
The silence in the room was unnaturally thick as they all watched her leave the room. “You have brought us a very interesting person,
Jalhar.” Grimaryl was the first to break the silence. “I wonder who trained her to be such a careful observer.”
“They were either very good or very paranoid,” Pakatani observed. “I did my best all night to be average and boring, to see if I could fade into
the background for her. It never worked.” He shrugged, his average features showing amusement. “If anything, she reacted to my actions
as proof of a threat. It raises many interesting questions about her people.”
“Indeed.” Grim’s voice was amused as he strode back into the room, having easily monitored them through the link of their rings. “Her
people must be very combative or treacherous. From the way she watched all of us, I would bet her world is as dangerous as the worst of
our cities. It is one of the few reasons she would have developed such a keen ability to read people.”
They were silent for a time as they each sorted through their impressions, sharing thoughts as they did so.
Teleri finally cleared her throat. “Do not miss the fact that she has seen at least one man in a fight for his life and claims to be a trained
fighter herself. And all this in addition to her training as their version of an alchemist.” She nodded as they thought of what such a person
could mean to them, to their cause. She sighed drawing their attention. “This woman is very dangerous. The only question that truly
remains; who is she dangerous to?”